Head Lice: A Skyloft Short Tale
by Legend of Zelda Fanatic Girl
Summary: Karane can never take a bath at night because Gaepora is in there. She refuses to bathe in the morning, and as a result from never keeping clean, infests Skyloft Knight Academy with head lice.


A Skyloft Short Tale by Adrienne Guillory

Karane is an upperclassman at Skyloft Knight Academy. She likes to only take baths at night, because she is stubborn and inflexible. Unfortunately, at night, headmaster Gaepora uses the bathroom. He stays in the tub as soon as it gets dark and strangely only appears in the morning. This makes Karane stinky. She gets itchy and covered in dirt. She refuses to take a bath in the morning or afternoon, so she never gets clean. Karane starts to get teased because she never bathes. Now she is sad. "Well, at least Pipit still likes me!" she said, thinking of her boyfriend.

Gaepora did not realize he was causing a problem by not letting Karane bathe. He did know that Karane smelled worse than Link after he had been running through all of Skyloft on a warm, wet day, sweating profusely and attempting to roll in every mud puddle in existence. According to Zelda, Link was a "big, sweaty boy". Link actually made a pointless hobby of this in all his spare time. Even he bathed more than Karane.

As Karane was heading to her class one day, Gaepora stopped her in the hallway. "Ey, Karane, may I speak to you in my office for a second?"

"Am I in trouble?" Karane asked. She was a little nervous, but Karane was the type who typically kept her cool and stayed calm. She also tended to keep to herself a lot, rather than talk with others.

"No, no," said Gaepora. "We're just gonna have a little talk about some… uh, _personal issues_."

Karane winced.

Inside the office, Gaepora said, "Karane, have you taken a bath lately?"

Karane got so embarrassed that she snapped in anger, "Is it any of your business, chubby? You know I can't bathe at night because YOU. ARE. IN THERE. ALL THE FLUFFIN' DARN TIME!"

Karane stomped out.

"Get back her, Missy!" yelled Gaepora.

"No, you freak! You're a disgrace!" screamed Karane. She ran down the hallway and sat in her favorite seat.

"No running in the halls, Karane. You know that. As a senior, you should be setting a good example for the others," said Instructor Owlan.

"I don't give a darned care," mumbled Karane.

"You'd better. If I kick you out of her for a few days, where would you stay? Your parents live far away. You don't have your own money. You'd better give a care," said Owlan, starting to get angry.

"You'll see that I don't," said Karane.

Just then, the headmaster came in and whispered something to Owlan. Owlan glared at Karane. "Karane! Come to the front of the room! NOW!"

"NO!" she said.

Gaepora marched over and grabbed Karane's arm.

Karane shrieked and just went berserk. "You just GRABBED ME! That's child abuse! I should call the police! You're insulting! You're a disgusting freak of nature that never should have been born! The world could do better without you!"

When Zelda heard how Karane was talking about her father, she struggled not to cry. Karane was a good friend of Zelda. Zelda had never heard Karane talking like this before.

"Young lady, I will have you KNOW that you are talking to the headmaster of the academy here and I can and will expel you if you continue acting up! Come back with me NOW!"

"Nope," said Karane.

Zelda gave Karane a concerned look.

Karane scowled at Zelda. "Stop making the pathetic face 'fore I smash it into the desk!"

Gaepora shouted at Karane. "You dare hurt my daughter, you will be forced out! Maybe permanently!" Gaepora rushed over to protect Zelda.

"Pft," said Karane. She stormed out of the room and went outside. She was not seen again for another week. Her odor only increased.

The day Karane returned, she had to be followed everywhere to make sure that she didn't get in more trouble. She actually got arrested over the week, who knows how and she had an ankle monitor on her. She was refusing to talk to people, but that wasn't a big deal because she was never the one to start a conversation, which the instructors constantly pestered her about.

One day, Zelda got tired of worrying about her best friend and attempted to talk to her when no one else was looking.

"Hi, Karaneeeeeee… what's up?" Zelda asked, using her best friend's nickname.

"Shut up and leave me alone," Karane mumbled.

"Is something wrong?" Zelda asked.

"Yeah! Your father is what's wrong. He never lets me take a bath, then complains that I smell!"

"My doddy isn't wrong," said Zelda. "He's a good man!"

"That's what you think, because he's your dad. Didn't you see how hard he grabbed me yesterday?"

"That's out of his nature," agreed Zelda. "But you were insulting him, were you not?"

"No!" denied Karane. "And even if I was, he deserved it."

"You've been nothing but a meanie lately," said Zelda. "This whole thing is over not taking a bath? Why not take a morning bath?"

"Because…Because I don't want to, that's why!" snapped Karane. "Now shut up and leave me alone like I said!"

"What if I could convince Doddy to let you take a bath at night? I know you don't bathe nearly as long as him," suggested Zelda.

"I'd like to see you try," said Karane.

"I'll do more than try. I'll succeed. My Doddy can't resist me," promised Zelda.

"Fine," said Karane. "You let me take a bath and I'll stop being grumpy."

That evening, right before Gaepora's bath time, Instructor Horwell tied him up by invading his office and grilling him. Meanwhile, Zelda was crawling along the roof and stepped on one of the weak spots, right above her father's office.

Boom! Crunch! Zelda fell through the hole and landed right on her father's lap.

"Zelda!? Are you alright?" Horwell asked. Gaepora just gaped in shock.

During that moment, Karane seized the opportunity to take a bath.

But it was too late. The next day, the academy had to be evacuated for an infestation of head lice.

Karane was the cause.

THE END


End file.
